How to Date a Single Dad

You have met a great guy. He is smart, charming, good looking, and--a single dad. This does not mean that dating isn't an option, but it does mean that dating may involve a little bit more thought and planning than in other scenarios. Whether he is a divorced dad or a never-been-married dad, you will need to remember that any serious relationship you enter into will involve his kid(s) also.

Instructions

Step 1. Let him talk. Allowing him to chat about his kids and his life will give you a lot of information about the scenario you are walking into. A single dad who talks about his kids and is involved in their life is a good sign.

Step 2. Ask questions as they come to you. You want to know what he is like as a dad, what his kids are like, how he relates to his ex and what the custody arrangements are.

Step 3. Realize that you will meet the kids when he is ready and when you are ready. Nothing good can come of meeting the kids before you and he have agreed that the two of you are getting serious.

Step 4. Show courtesy to the mom, if she is involved. This woman is not your competition, but she is a constant and equal part in the children's lives. Even if the divorced mom and dad do not get along, it is not your place to be involved.

Step 5. Include the children in activities when it is his turn to have them and do not make plans that exclude the kid(s) on these nights or weekends.

Step 6. Make romantic plans for you and your single dad when the kids are with their mom, after all you are dating him and you should have fun together.


Source: eHow Parenting Editor (eHow)

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How to Date a Single Mom

A single mom, like any other woman, can be your perfect life partner or a great person to date. But dating a single mom takes a little more understanding and patience than dating other women. Keep in mind the following steps when dating a single mom.

Instructions

Step 1. Evaluate your interest level in this particular woman and your own ability to spend time with children. It is better to decide before asking a woman out if you are capable of the potential commitment dating a single mom can lead to or even if you like kids.

Step 2 . Focus on the relationship with the woman. You can meet the kids later. This requires flexibility since she needs to make babysitter arrangements or might be willing to have you over only after the kids are in bed for the night.

Step 3. Establish open communication about her past, the biological father's current role and your own feelings about the relationship. This may seem uncomfortable, but you are entitled to know necessary information if you are going to be in the picture long term.

Step 4. Meet the children when everyone is prepared. Mom knows best what her kids can handle and you must respect this decision. Surprising her by dropping by could be more damaging than appreciated when dating a single mom.

Step 5. Parent only when everyone is comfortable and it has been discussed. Being mom's boyfriend does not make you a father figure. Be very clear about what you think your role should be and be respectful about how your girlfriend and her kids view your role.

Step 6. Be patient and understanding to everyone's feelings and concerns, including your own. It is better to leave a relationship you are not suited for than to stay for the wrong reasons.

Source: eHow Relationships & Family Editor

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Single parents' guide to introducing a date to the kids

Introducing a new person in your life to the kids can produce anxiety for everyone. Here are tips to keep it low-key.

Following the loss of a spouse through divorce or death, many custodial parents take some time off to heal before embarking on a new relationship. This allows the kids to get over the loss of a parent as well.

So when the remaining parent begins dating other people, he or she should introduce a new person to the kids with discretion and finesse. You don't want to inadvertently overwhelm, threaten, or excite the kids with a new relationship, especially until you see how it's going to work out in the long run.

1. Start slow. Get to know the new person in your life to see if it's going to endure. Introducing the kids after a few weeks may be too soon, since many relationships naturally end or bond within a three-month period. Wait until you know your new romantic squeeze before getting the kids involved. This will help to protect their emotions and well-being in case the relationship doesn't work out.

2. Take it easy. When the time for introductions comes, keep it low key. You may want to introduce the kids as you leave for a date. Or you could take your friend to a school event and make introductions afterward. Keep it short and simple at first to give the kids and your friend time to reflect on first impressions. Meet for lunch instead of hosting a long evening dinner. Let early impressions slowly sink in before inundating your kids with frequent exposure to your new friend.

3. Don't overdo it. After your beau and the kids meet, space out their interactions. Don't encourage them to get too thick right away. If the relationship doesn't work, the kids may be devastated if they've formed an attachment to your friend, and it may feel like another loss. There’s no point in putting them through that needlessly. Let their meetings be few and fun until you see how things are going to work out.

4. Keep it simple. Avoid meshing the kids with your friends in high-tension situations. For example, there is no need to spend weekends together or take group vacations right away. An occasional night out or weekend event provides enough exposure to help acquaint everyone without overdoing it. Light entertainment rather than heavy involvement is the key to bringing all parties together.

5. Don't force it. If your friend doesn't care for children, or your kids, don't insist on their spending time together. Conversely, if your children do not care for your new main squeeze, don't push it. Allow them to maintain a respectful distance. With time, things may change. But if not, you will have a better indication of how to proceed with this glimpse into a future step-family situation.

Introducing children to new relationship interests is a delicate matter. Since so many step-families report later problems with child discipline and respect issues, it is important to test the waters gradually and respond accordingly. Some single parents choose to wait for a serious relationship until their children are grown. If you sense the potential for discord, this may be one of the options you'll decide to explore.

Source: eSSORTMENT

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Dating Tips for Single Moms


Ease Your Kids Into It

When you’re ready to begin dating, ease into it with your kids. Don’t suddenly make a bomb-shell announcement like, "Mommy’s going to go on a date. This is really important." This will guarantee resentment. Simply mention that you are going out with a friend when you have a first date. After all, this is all it is at this point.

Enjoy Your Date

Once you’ve decided to go on a date with a man, commit yourself to focusing on it and enjoying it fully. That means not calling the baby sitter every half hour to check in. If you aren’t ready to trust someone to watch the kids while you enjoy an evening out focused on enjoying yourself and getting to know someone, you shouldn’t be dating yet. You’ll also send huge signals to the man you’re with that you aren’t ready to start a relationship of any type.

Don’t Look at Your Date as a Potential Parent – Yet

Here’s a dating tip for single moms that also applies to single guys with kids: your first date should be about whether you like the person you’re out with. Don’t look at him like he’s a potential new parent for your kids – it’s way too early for that. It won’t matter if you end up deciding he isn’t right for you, and you don’t want to put too much pressure on him all at once. You just might scare the right man away before he has the chance to prove himself this way.

Avoid Competition

Don’t sacrifice traditional family activities for the sake of a date. If Sundays are always set aside for pancakes and bacon with your kids, don’t start making Sunday plans with a man you’re dating after just a few weeks – it sets an unhealthy precedent for a sense of competition between your children and your date.

Introducing Him to Your Kids

If you do establish a significant relationship, begin introducing him to your children little by little. Short, fun activities so that everyone can relax and enjoy getting to know one another are a good start. Neutral territory (a family restaurant or perhaps the zoo) is best at first. You can add including your new suitor in family activities after your children have grown comfortable with him.

Guys to Avoid

As your children get to know him, make sure that the man you’re dating accepts your children just as they are. He shouldn’t try to discipline or change them – that’s not his job. If he becomes critical of your children or of your parenting style, it’s time to end it.

Make the Rules Clear from the Start

Your children will always come first. It’s one of the most important dating tips for single moms I know of. If the man you’re dating doesn’t understand this now, he won’t later. Some men will commend you for this and agree whole-heartedly – these are the mature, loving ones. Other men will feel like this puts them in "second place," and they will probably never love your children like they should be loved because he will see them as competition for your time and affection.

Don’t Lean on the Man You’re Dating Too Soon

Any serious relationship is a big step, and you never want to confide everything or rely on the person you’re dating too early on. This dating tip for single moms applies to any single (don’t cry about ex’s, your parents, etc. on the second date), but it is particularly true for singles moms who are dating. He may be perfectly wonderful, but even the strongest, most compassionate man will be frightened if you spend your third date discussing details of your child’s adjustment problems in third grade or your concerns about whether your teenage daughter is drinking. These are serious matters, and should only be discussed once a serious relationship is established.

Let Your Dates be About You and Him

He may come to love your children completely, but the person he asked out was you. Remember to talk about things beyond parenting.

I hope you also remember to have a good time on your dates – remember, you’re not only a mom, you’re also a vibrant single woman! If you keep this in mind as well as the above dating tips for single moms, you’ll have a wonderful time now and in the future – and you may find someone who is good for you and your children!


Source : Kevin Urban (Buzzle.com)

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First Date Tips for Single Parents


1. Do not meet your date at your home if your kids are there. Your children really should only be introduced to long-term dating partners and not to everyone you go out with. Plus, you do not want to overwhelm your already nervous date.

2. Keep discussions of your children to a minimum. Your date wants to get to know you right now, not your kids.

3. Do not keep checking with your date to see if he or she is having a good time. You should be able to guess this from their body language. Asking will only make you seem desperate. You need to be attentive but not smothering.

4. A date that involves sharing an activity where you are able to talk with one another can help you get to know the person better. Movies, while popular, involve a lot of silence and are not good for early dates.

5. Keep your dress appropriate and conservative. Too dressed up may make your companion think that you are high maintenance while too casual may come off as sloppy or uncaring. Ladies should save the plunging necklines or short skirts for later dates as you want your date to get to know you and not be distracted.

6. Do not discuss loaded topics such as past relationships or sex. If you get asked about your last relationship, be brief with your answer. Definitely do not bring up the marriage word.

7. Focus your attention on your date. Do not ogle members of the opposite sex or keep staring at the game on the nearby TV screen. Keep the cell phone turned off and out of sight. If you keep checking it, your date may think that you are bored and looking at the time.

8. Thank your date at the end of the evening even if you did not have a good time. Be polite even if the other person is not. You never know when you may run into him or her again or who he or she may know.

9. Try not to obsess over how the date went or whether you will go on another one with this person. Let relationships progress naturally and keep your options open until you enter a long-term relationship.

Source : Annie In Dating ( Single Parent Spot )

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