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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Dating And Selective Love

Every single man and woman is after finding love and engaging in dating exercises. The fact is that each and every person the world over, from the Himalayas to the last street of Kano in Nigeria, everyone is after love and dating and forging a wholesome relationship that might just lead to the bliss of matrimony. It is the hope of every human being to have that person whom they can love with all their heart, that human who can also reciprocate the same. It is the urge and want of every human being. The problem is that it is not everybody whom our hearts should be checking out, but that individual whom we are attracted to, and likewise, depicts some form of attraction towards us.

Someone you would like to begin dating and know each other well. That is the source of all love and trust. Finding that person with whom there is a balance that exists between the two of you, something that makes you to just trust each other, that thing which makes you to just want to be in the hands of one another to the last day of your life. That is the bottom line. You must then apply mechanisms of going about finding that person who makes you feel like a king or queen, that person who will transform your life.

The best way towards finding and the cradle of dating such a person is applying the selective love, and also doing it selectively. You cannot avoid it as such, since your heart is always carrying out selective choosing of those things that will make you to be favorable to someone. It is the power of selective dating that you should try to have, through attracting the birds of a feather. It is tantamount to a magnet being attracted by iron and not steel. It means that each person attracts a specific group of people, people who wield certain qualities that you desire.

It is the work that many dating matchmakers are used to, where they look selectively for those qualities that make you favorable in the eyes of another person. It is the point that a person after selective choosing and dating must have in mind. You must be able to know what kind of people you attract in your aura. Some single men and women attract desperate house wives who cannot give them anything long lasting; they seem to find something in your character that their husband lacks.

Another click of people has the habit of attracting single mothers, women who have already given birth. This might be a sign that you exude confidence in the presence of people and that is the reason they want more of you. They want to begin dating you right away. There are types of females that attract the worst kind of males, from gangsters, drug addicts to people with aggressive behaviors. This might not be the kind of persons you should be seen dating, but they suggest something in selective dating, that there is a pigment of your character that is always attracting a certain type of humanity.

Source: Francis K. Githinji (ArticleDashboard.com)



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Monday, May 25, 2009

Dating On A Budget: How To Be Creative

The numbers keep rolling in and they are not good. Companies are doing some mass layoffs while others are just closing down altogether. You can see some examples of this by going to your local mall. Chances are you are going to see more than the usual empty spaces adjacent to some businesses that are barely hanging on.

This downturn is not only causing many companies to make hard choices but millions of individuals across the country and around the globe. Among those individuals are singles in the dating scene who through no fault of their own are finding the economics of dating a tough proposition to navigate. In the article "That Game We Play: Dating in a down economy", Lacey Storer of the St Joe News writes, "Some guys are getting more creative with their dates, or looking for cheaper options to the traditional dinner and a movie. Others are just avoiding dating altogether."


While that passage may focus on single men it applies equally to single women as well as the rest of us. Everyone is feeling the crunch.

But the last thing you want to do is take yourself out of the game altogether. Sure you can wait for things to improve before you get back into the dating scene but none of us knows when that will be. In the meantime isolating yourself from the social contact that comes with dating can have a not so good effect on your attitude and thought process.

So what's the solution? Date inexpensively but creatively. For instance.

1. Games and Puzzles

Monopoly anyone? How about a good game of Scrabble? Maybe during your travels you've come across one of those puzzles with five hundred or more pieces. Never really been into puzzles? To each their own but give it a shot anyway. Dating relationships are about give and take. And who knows? You may find being with someone enthusiastic about puzzles and games rubs off on you.

2. Music Days Got some favorite music?

Sure you do. So does the person you are dating. Invite them over occasionally and tell them to bring some of their favorite music. What they have may not be to your exact taste but again healthy dating is about equal give and take. Leave the TV off. With television you pretty much have to stop what you are doing periodically to focus on what's happening on the screen. Music on the other hand can keep the conversation flow going while the two of you dance and laugh the evening away.

3. Take the Walk

We are a nation of motorists and we love our cars. That's why it is good from time to time to get out and stretch the legs. It's not only healthy but it can strengthen the connection with your dating partner. Where do you go? Anywhere. Go to the park, check out a historical monument you have always been curious about. Walk to some busy area and get lost in the crowd, do some window shopping or find a nice cozy spot and watch the sunset.

No it is not going to be easy to make some of these adjustments. Many of us get into a dating ritual that we are quite comfortable with even if part of that ritual is the spending of money.

If you are in any kind of dating relationship one way or the other you are going to spend money. That's not going to change anytime soon. However by coupling it with being creative on a more regular basis you can extend those funds a lot further and add some new exciting dynamics to your dating relationship.


Source: Daryl (ArticleDashboard.com)


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Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dating And The Measures Of Love

The way you measure and weigh the kind of love you receive and give in your dating relationships is very important. It doesn't mean that you get yourself a measuring rod or a weighing machine and begin to put cupfuls of love in it. I wish it was possible, everybody wants to see the color of love, and I am no exception. I can't help it.

Love is such that if it had a color, then it would have been white, because it is the hue of tranquility, the balance of peace and the most silent and cool color. It is what I would expect to see in dating instances flowing in a swirling motion as two people who are in love meet. However then, love is not colored white, because love is very aggressive and it re-awakens the most aggressive thoughts the mind of man has ever had. It is the reason I think it must be red.

Red is the most popular color of those roses we love so much. So it must be the color of love. It is the most visible color when you check out people dating in a valentine evening, love must be red. Red because of the aggressive nature of the color red, it is the color of the blood that oozes out once an aggressive blow has been given. It is the color of lightning and a component of the rainbow, so it must be the color of love. Nevertheless then, dating has never been that aggressive, so the color of love might not be red. It must be yellow.

Yellow is a quiet color, cool and silent, and overtly hangs between the balances of grotesqueness and laziness. Yellow is lazy. It's the way people who are in love act, lazy and cool in each other's arms, to a point of creating a grotesque image of love. Yellow might be the color of love, but again, love is not grotesque, love might be orange.

It can be the color that you draw when you dissect love, it must be what you cry once your dating relationship has hit a snag and you cannot love anymore. Yes, love must be orange. It is that color that exists between the color red and yellow, which give it a tinge of silence and sporadic aggression. You cannot blame love, it might be orange, but again, dating is lively and fulfilling, and love is tender, so orange is not the color of love. Love must really be the color that represents life on earth, it must be green.

Love is lively, full of life and tends to grow. Love must be green. When you cut the vein of love, it must be able ooze the color green. When two people like each other, they depict a growing attraction that grows into an affair or relationship through dating processes, as they exude love at its best. Love must be green. Crops and vegetation grow to maximum height because of the color green. Love must be green, no doubt.


Source: Francis K. Githinji (ArticleDashboard.com)

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Dating And The Transformation Of Friendship

What happens when a female and a male meet is that they cannot help falling in love with each other and begin the art of dating as they begin to cement the relationship. It is the reason as to why God ordained the faculty of marriage to have man and woman forging a friendship of a specific nature. The transformation that occurs in a dating relationship is that man and woman meet as people who have nothing against each other, sometime having even met and there is no prior attraction.

It then follows that after the two people have met, they might have the first meeting pass without no change in the way they feel. Dating is all about that tinge of attraction that is floated and immediately, it's like your eyes have been opened and you can now see. It is what happens when two people who are in a relationship started. The first time they will ignore the situation, but the second time something will be reawakened inside their passionate levels and the man notices the beauty of her lips and the firmness of her breasts, and that her aura bewitches him to a point of realizing that there is something deeper that runs down inside his heart and joins with her spirit to make him realize that he has to meet again and make whole the dating relationship.

You cannot blame a woman who after seeing a man for a couple of times without conjuring anything in her mind suddenly realizes the kind face that the man has, the smile of welcome he gives her and the attention she receives aptly to convince her that it cannot be the end of the rail road but the beginning of a highway. She realizes that dating the man is a must since there is about him something that transcends his muscular chest and smile.


He has that air around him that makes you grace his world with an open heart which is the commencement of her dating relationship. The fact is that friendship and dating cannot be separated, it is their transformation that makes men merry and women full of grace. Friendships created out of love are the best one, even the person who is not a party to the relationship notices the aura and the kind of transformation that takes place among the two of you, to point of noticing that the relationships is not one after the misuse of their body, or a result of mistaking lust from pure human love.

Yet people have been ignoring the power of dating to a point of saying that man and woman have the potential to stay without dating relationships and even just be friends. This fails to take into account the fact the men and women were created to attract each other. If that is ignored, a situation will occur which will make the man and woman to compromise into a sexual endeavor that they were trying to dissuade from their minds every time they met.

Source: Francis K. Githinji (ArticleDashboard.com)



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Monday, May 18, 2009

Knowing When The Dating Is Heading Home

There is nothing like wasting your time dating and seeing a person whom at the end of the day you will be heartbroken and fruitless. There is nothing like rejection and an acute heartbreak. They have the inclination and the audacity to make you feel like running to the nearest shop and purchase a synthetic strap and hang yourself from the nearest Joshua tree. It is a feeling that makes men want to run naked and with super sonic speed to the end of the world and throw themselves to the bottomless abyss. Rejection makes you recoil yourself and curse the day mother earth accepted you into this world.

Dating smart allows you to have a good time as you reduce the risks of rejection without dishonor. Sometimes we are the ones who expose ourselves to the risks of heart break and rejection by following our infatuated minds rather than a logical choice of a dating partner. Men have the highest affinity to go for those individuals who fill their lust levels through what they perceive. They easily involve themselves in dating practices with women who have the kind of mountainous bosom they like or the kind of physique that make their speech turn into babble, mind to be filled with nothing as their legs fail to hold them straight.

These are women where from the onset of the dating spree you have an idea where it is headed. Not anywhere near a long-lasting kind of relationship but a sexual fling that dies down after the first dating instance. Knowing whether the dating exercise is heading home is very easy, mostly when you are dating a woman whose attraction is deeper than the physical attraction that many men cannot say no to. The ideal woman doesn’t have to be deficient of beauty in terms physical attractiveness either, but it should not be the only thing you look at when you are dating, it should just reinforce your decision to know her better and that is that.


If at all she is not responding, it is a high time that you made a point of leaving her alone and as you seek better female pasture. If you force yourself on the woman you are dating you will realize that you will not be heading anywhere, since the woman has already made her mind to leave you alone. You should follow suit and refrain from looking like an emotional wreck that doesn’t know the meaning of the word no, lacking in the emotional intelligence that makes one to retreat from an emotional disaster like a gentleman and not like a damn loser.

Dating is an art and the more you date the more you gain experience in ways of handling people as well as gaining in the priceless emotional intelligence that many people lack. You don’t have to be a genius to realize that you need to date smart and be yourself if at all you are after genuine dating experience that could lead to the highest point of dating; the bliss of matrimony.

Source: Francis K. Githinji (ArticleDashboard.com)



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Sunday, May 17, 2009

Dating Intensity

There are issues with dating, and every human is affected. No one can deny that. We cannot ignore the feeling of love and the desire of our hearts to begin to having that man or woman our hearts has been craving for grace our souls. It is as simple as that. You must have someone whom you are dating or seeing for you to enjoy the daily fruits of love that come with having a man or woman in your life. You cannot stay away from the powers of love and attraction, that is, if you are a human being.

We were made to have people in our lives, persons that me and you must have. Must! That is. No one can blame you begin dating the ugliest girl in the neighborhood, or the most foolish and dirty man in the village. People will understand, and for those who are knowledgeable in the art of love and endearment, they will never ask whether there was nobody else you saw. They know that you had all the options in the area to get the best looking, but it was your heart that made the choice.

This is the intensity of the dating scene. Where you don’t use human eyes to find the mate with whom you jumpstart the dating exercise and start having a good time. The intensity of dating is the one that determines what kind of tempo and arguably the strength of the relationship or union. You cannot blame a person who marries not the cutest girl, but one who has pimples and an almost flat chest. You can blame anybody who marries a man who is just dirty and rude, amidst being the laughing stock of the village. You cannot.

This is because you will find that these people have such unending and relentless love as to make their intensity of dating to be so heavy and fast that they cannot believe it is happening. They feel in love and have feelings of soaring in the air like eagles, as they shout to every nook and corner of the globe how much they are in love. They have such an attraction that they have no choice but disregard all kinds of comments and dangerous eyes. There could be other factors that are playing on their side.

The kind of sex that they are having might be another thing that makes them not to tire about having each other around. The intensity of their dating instances surprises many people, even themselves. They have realized the secret to love and long lasting attraction, having each other living every day for the other person. Making it in a marriage, dating or in any relationship is all about finding that place where you will find yourself the balance between attraction, love and romance, which at the end of the day will be determining the kind of intensity that a relationship has. Once you find those things you relationship will be the best.


Source: Francis K. Githinji (ArticleDashboard.com)

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Friday, May 15, 2009

Dating And Giving Yourself A Second Chance

There is something in dating that signifies new and rejuvenated life. In essence, dating is all about finding new love, or reawakening a love that has been dead for some time now. Love is all about giving and it will be unfair if we said that it’s all about receiving. Just like in everything else, it requires a clear knowledge of your own situation and why you need to be back in the love and dating realm. The fact is that you cannot stay away from the world of love and the faster you return the better. It’s such a fulfilling place that nourishes the soul of man and the fact is that you cannot delve in the world without some amount of love.

The reasons as to why you might return or you need to find love and begin the dating game are as immense as they come. It is something that you cannot ignore. Dating is about going back to the sea of love and trying out your best to come back with something. Once you have got something you will be the happiest of all men as you make your heart sing and grace itself with gladness.

You might be going back to the world of dating to find love after undergoing a rigorous divorce, which had tentatively made you to somehow forget how it all tasted and whether there is anything for you on the other side of love. The divorce might have left you scathed in terms of love and because the human heart is a delicate entity, you find that you are evading any chance that reminds you of intimacy. However, you must realize that you cannot stay away from the game of love, more so if you had already tasted love, and you only need to reawaken the feeling. At one time you will not be able to live without it and the sooner you return to the world of dating the better. You must begin to meet other singles who share your sentiments, people who share the same mind and are requiring some rejuvenation.

For a single parent, meeting other single parents is the best way of finding true and fast love, where the dating will undoubtedly be successful considering that you both are in many ways requirement the same thing. Single men and women who are also after love and rejuvenated dating must go through the same process that anybody after starting relationship does go through.

Many singles consider online dating and speed dating as one of the faster ways of starting the dating process. These are places where there are people who are inclined at finding love and are after meeting other singles just like themselves. On the other hand, anybody after finding intimacy and enjoying romance must know that they are meeting other human beings who have feelings like themselves and must be treated with respect and careful tenderness, otherwise, failing in the dating process is guaranteed.


Source: Francis K. Githinji (ArticleDashboard.com)


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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dating Rules

The do's and dont's of the world of relationships and dating
No one ever said dating was easy. First dates are awkward, second dates are expectant and the dates that follow that -- during which two people really start getting down to the business of getting to know each other -- present hundreds, if not thousands, of opportunities for missteps, faux pas, blunders and mistakes. That is to say nothing of the myriad chances for problems to which you could fall prey while arranging, planning and preparing for dates.

We call too often or not enough, we're too available or never around, we wear sandals to fancy restaurants, laugh hysterically at bad jokes, show up with blue carnations, gab on our cell phones during dinner and commit countless other dating crimes, mostly without realizing we’re doing it. No doubt about it -- bad dating behavior is a rampant affliction, and it's time to cure it with some common sense advice.


If dating is a game, then just like any other game, there are rules you need to study, learn and follow. After all, you wouldn't take the field without knowing where the base lines are, would you? (For those of you who are immune to ball field metaphors, the answer is "no.") While none of these do's and don'ts are set in stone -- and, as your mother told you, there are obviously exceptions to every rule -- here we attempt to equip you with an idiot-proof playbook for the fast-paced, intense, exciting, full-contact sport of searching for someone with whom to fall in love.


Dating Rules -- Do's

1. Do try to always look your best and be punctual. Showing up late or looking messy gives the impression that you don't care -- and, if that's the case, why go out with this person in the first place?

2. Do try to enjoy yourself on dates. Yes, finding your soul mate is serious business, and it can sometimes even be a scary endeavor, but keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun.

3. Do compliment your date on how he or she looks. Men and women tend to put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date, and it's nice (and flattering) to hear that all that energy paid off.

4. Do be interested and interesting. Ask questions, share insights and pay attention when your date is telling you what they like to do, read, watch, listen to, etc.

5. Do tell someone directly if you're not interested in seeing them again. Lying and stringing people along simply because you're too scared to tell them the truth is selfish and hurtful. If you don't want to go on another date with someone, let them down as gently -- but firmly -- as possible.

6. Do date only people you're attracted to, no matter what your friends say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.

7. Do stay positive, even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way, you will probably meet some pretty nice people.

8. Do plan ahead. Dating is a creative diversion that requires concentration and energy, so make arrangements ahead of time and let your date know you put some thought into the evening.

9. Do be proactive about finding people to date. The man or woman you've been searching for your whole life is probably not going to come ring your doorbell and beg you to go to dinner anytime soon. Dating requires action, so get out there and meet as many people as you can.

10. Do surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who are dating, too. Part of the fun of dating is celebrating, comparing notes and commiserating with your friends. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you to succeed at love and will be there for you if/when you need emotional support.

Dating Rules -- Don'ts

1. Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency). Desperation and instability are major turnoffs.

2. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past. Many of us are attracted to people who are bad for us, but it's important to break these patterns and seek out healthy relationships with matches who won't demean you or make you feel bad about yourself in any way.

3. Don't be late for a date. It's just rude. If you have to change your plans, give the other person as much notice and consideration as possible. And always apologize.

4. Don't lie to your date or about any aspect of your life, even if the truth isn't as sexy or you're worried they won't like it. It would be awful to ruin a potentially life-changing relationship with your perfect match because of some silly lie you told early on to impress him or her.

5. Don't be too available. We don't mean you should play games, but if you're free every night, you're probably not taking care of yourself, pursuing your own interests and spending time with your friends -- which means you're probably not very interesting to talk to. People with full, exciting lives make the best dates.

6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the beginning. Revealing your innermost secrets on the second date can lead to rejection. Don't be scared to open up, but remember that getting to know someone takes time, and you should let your relationship evolve.

7. Don't check out other people when you're on a date. Ever. This is just tacky. You may think you are subtle, but while you're scoping the cutie in the corner, your date will be heading for the door. Extend your partner the courtesy of concentrating solely on them while you're with them.

8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

9. Don't ignore your personal safety. Carry your cell phone and keep it charged -- and make sure to tell your friends where you're going and when you'll be back. First dates should take place in well-lit public places. Don't ever let yourself be coerced into going anywhere or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Don't give out personal information like your home phone number or address on the first date. Keep these details to yourself until you trust the person you're dating.

11. Don't have sex on a first date. If you like someone and are interested in getting to know them better (and possibly having a relationship), sex on a first date will likely ruin everything. It's much too soon, it's not romantic and it communicates to the other person that you're more interested in their physical characteristics than in finding out who they are.

12. Never date a married person. Statistically, it is very unlikely that they will ever leave their husband or wife for you. Dating someone who's married is the best way to serve yourself a heaping helping of misery, lies, deceit, sadness and heartache. If you are married, separate before dating. If you're single, don't be a shoulder to cry on -- you deserve better. Go out and find someone who's emotionally (and legally) available to you!

Source: TopDatingTips.com

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

5 Unique Dating Ideas

Dating is probably one of the most basic activities known to humankind. Because we are social animals, it is but natural for people to go out with other people for company or to have an enjoyable time. At some point in our lives, we will be subjected to at least one dating experience, so it's best to prepared with unique ideas just to break the monotony.

Dating is fun. However, it can also sometimes be routinary. While this might douse a cold bucket of water over your hopes of sizzling time, remember that with dating anything is possible. It all depends on how far you let your creativity take the reins.

Here are some tried and tested unique dating ideas you might want to try out:

1) Hop on a bus and go

Be nomads for a day and make up a rule that you're not allowed to stay in one place for more than 10 minutes. You will be able to enjoy this activity more if you're in another town or somewhere you're not familiar with. Discover sights and little quirks together.

2) Beach at night

Most people would set up a beach picnic during the day, so it's definitely something new if you do it at night. Bring a mat and scented candles, plus your favorite bottle of wine and chat the night away. Not only will you likely be undisturbed, you and your date will also have a chance to get to know about each other's personalities more.

3) Play with kids

Go to the nearest play park and mingle with kids. Organize games and give out prizes. This type of date will give you an idea how your date interacts with other people, especially relatively impatient children. It will also be a chance for you to show him or her how much of a dear you are. *Wink!*

4) Drive-in, Garage Style

Since drive-in movies are few and far between nowadays, you can relive that 80s feel by setting up your own 'drive-in' at your garage. Set up a huge TV and stock up on romantic flicks. Remember to stay in the car while you're watching to complete the entire setup. You might even want to dress the part, just to be on the comical side.

5) Dress up as your favorite icon and go to the mall

This might take a lot of courage on your part but, hey, it could be a lot of fun for you and your date. You could dress up at Sonny and Cher, or if you wanna go overboard, be Anthony and Cleopatra. Revel in the attention both you get when up come up the Dairy Queen to order a sundae.

If it's your first foray into the dating scene, the above ideas just might propel you into a second, third, fourth and hundredth date. If you're already actively dating, these tips could just make your ride more interesting than ever.

Remember, the key to enjoying a date is not quantity -- it does not lie on how much you've said, or you've how much you've spent. What is important is, you got to show the other person how sweet it is to be loved by you. Relax and have fun. Enjoy!


Source: Tim Lee (Ezine@rticles)

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Monday, May 11, 2009

Single-parent dating:How to do it right

It’s true. Many rules were meant to be broken. But not when it comes to the rules of dating as a single parent. Lisa Cohn and William Merkel, Ph.D., are authors of the award-winning One Family, Two Family, New Family: Stories and Advice For Stepfamilies and have excellent advice for the who what when where why and how of single-parent dating. They recently held a Q&A session with MSN and offered some of their top tips. Below are some of the highlights.

· The best time to inform your date that you have a child is immediately.
· The best places for single parents to meet other single parents are places where parents hang out: the park the roller rink the movies.
· Don’t introduce your date to your children unless there’s a chance that it can become a serious relationship-especially if your kids are a bit older. Also, keep it casual and low-key when they meet; don’t introduce your date as your future spouse!
· Use email, cell phones and even Internet dating to establish and keep connections with new dates and companions since single parents have limited time as it is; make use of the odd moments during the day and in the evening to get and stay acquainted.
· Don’t scare off your companion but make your intentions pretty clear early in the relationship. If you never want to get married again, let that be known; if you’re looking for a spouse and soon, that should be shared as well.
· Happier parents are better parents so don’t feel guilty about wanting to find love and spending some time with a date; everyone needs to have some adult time in their lives and it’s okay.

Source: SHEKNOWS GeoParent




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Friday, May 8, 2009

How to Date a Single Dad

You have met a great guy. He is smart, charming, good looking, and--a single dad. This does not mean that dating isn't an option, but it does mean that dating may involve a little bit more thought and planning than in other scenarios. Whether he is a divorced dad or a never-been-married dad, you will need to remember that any serious relationship you enter into will involve his kid(s) also.

Instructions

Step 1. Let him talk. Allowing him to chat about his kids and his life will give you a lot of information about the scenario you are walking into. A single dad who talks about his kids and is involved in their life is a good sign.


Step 2. Ask questions as they come to you. You want to know what he is like as a dad, what his kids are like, how he relates to his ex and what the custody arrangements are.

Step 3. Realize that you will meet the kids when he is ready and when you are ready. Nothing good can come of meeting the kids before you and he have agreed that the two of you are getting serious.

Step 4. Show courtesy to the mom, if she is involved. This woman is not your competition, but she is a constant and equal part in the children's lives. Even if the divorced mom and dad do not get along, it is not your place to be involved.

Step 5. Include the children in activities when it is his turn to have them and do not make plans that exclude the kid(s) on these nights or weekends.

Step 6. Make romantic plans for you and your single dad when the kids are with their mom, after all you are dating him and you should have fun together.


Source: eHow Parenting Editor (eHow)

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Wednesday, May 6, 2009


Single dad dating

Single Dad Dating: Making It Easier For You

Being a single dad is hard enough, but consider what it can do to one’s dating life! There are many reasons for being a single dad in today’s society—our very high divorce rate being just one! But just because someone has children it doesn’t mean that they can’t get out and date! A person craves for love no matter what their circumstances, whether it be bereavement that they have finally been able to move on from, divorce, separation and even just out of sheer loneliness. No matter what the reason trying to re-establish yourself into a new relationship; being a single dad dating doesn’t have to be impossible! With a little crafty thinking you can easily find women who will happily date you whether you’re raising your kids alone or not.

Once as single dad you decide it is time to get yourself back out there and try dating again you need to let the process go at a slow pace to protect the feeling of your children. There are a few do’s and don’ts for you to consider so that you can protect not only the relationship that is yet to develop with the women you meet but also for your children. Always keep your dates away from your children at first, the reason for this being that whilst you are dating and you should be honest with your children that you are dating, but because you have no idea at this junction where the relationship might be going if anywhere, to keep the two separate. The reason for this is so that your children don’t get confused whilst you go on each new date. Once you are happy with just one person and you can see it going anywhere and the relationship becoming stable then tell your children about her. Once both your date and your children agree and they are both ready then and only then introduce them to each other.

The other reason for not introducing every date to your children is so that you are able to choose weather they are the best person for you and your children without any added pressure. While on a date you should tell your date immediately that you have children this way you are not misleading them in any way. Some people like children others do not, some are unable to have children so it is always best to fill them in on the full picture before things go to far and you are both let down if the woman choos
es that she does not want to get involved into a relationship that has children in it. You should also tell your date weather the children’s mother is alive or not but without going too much into detail at this point. Keep it short and precise once you get to know each other better you can talk about it but not now.

Single dads sometimes find that they have problems trying to get back into dating and looking after their children at the same time. This is where the internet helps some people out but for others and for the people who do there are a lot of other ways of meeting women; Networking, Volunteering, Internet dating, Blind dates and always be careful of dating someone from work but don’t rule it out completely as some office relationships do work out without compromising your job…and make work a lot more fun as well!

Source: RingSurf

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Tuesday, May 5, 2009


10 Tips for Dating a Single Mom

There is nothing that makes a group of men, or any individual man, cringe faster than the notion of dating a single mom. A consensus for today’s single man is that single mom = baggage, and most men will shy away from it. On the other hand, for this reason, many men also view the single mom as a great opportunity for a fling. Today’s family has changed. It is 2008 and the United States Census indicates that America is home to over 11 million single parents. The chances that you as a single man will find yourself dating one then, are pretty good. This is the age of the blended family, and for every family, that carries a different meaning.

If you find that you are interested in, attracted to, or seriously wanting to build a relationship with a single mom, there are some things you should know. You can’t play the game the way you normally do. Dating a single mom doesn’t have to be like walking on eggshells, but in some cases, dating a single mom just isn’t the same thing as dating a single girl with no responsibilities. The good news? Dating a single mom offers a wide range of benefits. Here are some tips to help you get the most out of dating a single mom, or even to simply encourage you to give it a shot.


1. You can’t be a player anymore.

This step is more for your protection than anything else. You certainly can be a player if that is all you are looking for, but unless you know for sure that the single mom you are wooing wants the same thing, this could seriously backfire on you. There are single moms out there actively seeking a ring on their finger, and if you play games with the wrong one, you will find yourself in a mess that you’d rather not be in.

2. Don’t be fake

Don’t pretend to like her or pretend you are interested, just so that you can have a fling. You never know, her game plan may be just the same as yours, even if that fling is all you are looking for. Be genuine and sincere, hint, be yourself, and she will welcome the opportunity to spend some time with you. A man who is sincere and shows genuine interest with no ulterior motive is any girls’ dreams whether she is a single mom or not.

3. Don’t be fake, part two

You can’t just be genuine with her, you have to be genuine with her children. If it does get to the point where you meet the kids, be yourself once again. Kids are almost smarter than single parents and will know when someone is being fake with them. Be nice to them, and show genuine interest in them. It won’t be long before they start reciprocating.

4. Romance Her!

You don’t need to be a single mom to appreciate a little bit of romance, but the single mom will definitely appreciate the romantic attention you provide. Use your imagination here and be creative. Romance works best when it is unexpected and not obvious. That doesn’t mean some flowers won’t go a long way. But send her a sweet text or an email to let her know you are thinking of her, or even just check in to see how the little one’s doctor appointment went. Small attention to details will sweep her off her feet more than grandiose gestures will.

5. Be Flexible

Flexibility is key when dating a single mom because she is always juggling a lot at once and has noone to share her responsibilities with. She may be sure one day that she can make plans with you, but have to cancel at the last minute if a doctor’s appointment comes up, visitation with dad changes at the last minute, or any number of factors that could cancel a date in a heartbeat. She may not be able to plan too much ahead of time either. Or maybe she can and maybe that’s easiest for her. Every situation with every single mom is different, but being flexible will make both of your lives a little easier. You may find you have to meet midweek for lunch instead of Saturday night for dinner, or head to a matinee on the weekend instead of an evening show. Her priorities may be a little bit different, but that doesn’t mean she’s not looking to go out and have fun. Just be willing to be flexible.

6. Understand her Priorities

In a single mom’s life, she has a lot of priorities. She may not even be sure which ones are at the top all of the time because they all seem mission critical to her. That doesn’t mean that you aren’t a priority, but her priorities may shift on different days just depending on how the day goes. Some days you may find yourself wondering where you fall in her priority list, and this is where flexibility and communication come in. If she is including you in her life, then she wants you in her life. Be flexible and communicate often, and she will find a way to show you just how big a priority you are to her.

7. Be Considerate of Her Time

The single mom is generally torn between her kids, her social life, and a million other responsibilities that she has no one to share with. Given this, it’s a good idea to be a little considerate of the time in which she has to do all of those things. If you call her up on a Saturday afternoon for a date that night, it is very likely she will turn you down. This will be no reflection on you, but more likely a matter of her simply having something else to do, such as a doctor’s appointment for Johnny. Find out about the custody arrangement of her kids and you'll know when she's free unless of course she's out with the girls! It shouldn't be that hard to get her to pick you over them. Also find out about when her kids' have vacations and you can be a step ahead planning anything with her.

8. Expect to Have “The Talk” Early

Many men balk at The Talk in any relationship, even if they want the relationship to have some longevity. That’s simply because men and women are wired differently. However The Talk doesn’t necessarily mean that she wants to get hitched right off the bat either. In fact, The Talk is a great way for the both of you to discover what page you are both on. Who wants to waste time if the person you are with isn’t going in the same direction as you are? It’s okay if you both want different things, and it’s okay if you both want something casual. By taking care of this conversation early in the relationship, you will both save yourselves a lot of potential heartache, and time.

9. Expect to Be Involved with Her Children

Wow, have you made it this far? You must be really into this woman. Most single moms or single dads are hesitant to take this step until she is pretty sure you are both on the same path. Treat this occasion delicately, and treat it with the respect and appreciation it deserves. Be honored that she is including you in the most important part of her life. The first-time WILL be nerve-wracking for you, and it will be for her as well, but she would not have you there if she didn’t want you there. She will take the steps necessary to make it easier for you.

10. When the Kids Don’t Like You

Oh well, you just knew there was a wrench somewhere. Take heart in the knowledge that this is not only possible, but likely. It’s a normal rite of passage for kids of single parents, they feel obligated to have some apprehension at first. Knowing that, don’t take it personally. Talks will resume between mom and the kids as time goes on, but this is an issue with the kids, not with you. You are a threat to their mom’s time, you are a threat to their relationship with their dad, or you are just simply a threat that they don’t welcome. Let Mom handle this one. If this relationship has longevity, she will work on them. Keep being genuine, but most of all, have patience. With time, those kids will learn exactly why mom is so crazy about you. Hey, you got this far, didn’t you? Don’t back out now.

If you are considering a relationship with a single mom, it may seem at first like you are taking on the entire luggage claim from the latest Delta Flight. It doesn’t have to be like that, and don’t go in thinking that. Single mothers are among the most mature, responsible, and loving people on the planet. They are always juggling something, but always looking for some love and friendship and healthy adult relationships as well. Go in open-minded, patient, understanding, and most importantly, sincere. If this relationship is meant to be, the rest will fall into place.

Source: Chrissie ( Futurescopes.com)

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How to choose a man when youre a single mom

Lets face it, being a single mom is tough. Picking the right man for your family is tougher.

Instructions:


Step 1. When meeting a man for the first time, be honest about your homelife. Explain to him that you have children. Dont assume he is "the one" right away.
Step 2. After you have dated this man for a while let him meet your children. (after a background check of course). Listen to your children and watch how he reacts to them.
Step 3. Ask your children their honest opinion. Believe it or not unless you have very young children, they will know who is best for their mom. If your kids "hate" the man you are seeing, guess what? There is probably a very good reason for this
Step 4. Be patient with both your children and your man. Dont expect instant sparks, wait it out. And please, dont let your children call every man you date "uncle".


Source : momof3infl ( eHow)

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Monday, May 4, 2009


How to Date a Single Mom

A single mom, like any other woman, can be your perfect life partner or a great person to date. But dating a single mom takes a little more understanding and patience than dating other women. Keep in mind the following steps when dating a single mom.

Instructions

Step 1. Evaluate your interest level in this particular woman and your own ability to spend time with children. It is better to decide before asking a woman out if you are capable of the potential commitment dating a single mom can lead to or even if you like kids.

Step 2 . Focus on the relationship with the woman. You can meet the kids later. This requires flexibility since she needs to make babysitter arrangements or might be willing to have you over only after the kids are in bed for the night.

Step 3. Establish open communication about her past, the biological father's current role and your own feelings about the relationship. This may seem uncomfortable, but you are entitled to know necessary information if you are going to be in the picture long term.

Step 4. Meet the children when everyone is prepared. Mom knows best what her kids can handle and you must respect this decision. Surprising her by dropping by could be more damaging than appreciated when dating a single mom.

Step 5. Parent only when everyone is comfortable and it has been discussed. Being mom's boyfriend does not make you a father figure. Be very clear about what you think your role should be and be respectful about how your girlfriend and her kids view your role.

Step 6. Be patient and understanding to everyone's feelings and concerns, including your own. It is better to leave a relationship you are not suited for than to stay for the wrong reasons.

Source: eHow Relationships & Family Editor


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