Single parents: When to start dating again


When to start dating again? What a difficult question without a definite answer. There are several things to consider. First and foremost, when are you ready to date. Many times you cannot answer this question until it happens. When it does happen, it is a feeling. When you meet that person, things start to happen. You do things that you normally don't do, such as: *better care for hygiene, showing up at places that someone special will be at, *feelings of "butterflies" when that person is not around, etc. Many of the signs that you are ready are not easily observable by you. It is not until you take the time to sit back and reflect that you can say, yes, I have made myself for available for a certain person. For some people, it may be right away, for others it may take time.

Another very important factor is when the children are ready. A parent cannot be completely selfish and put his/her desires before the children. Remember, you are a parent first. How do you know when your children are ready? It comes down to a simple social skill called communication. This does not only mean talking to them about it, but you also must listen. Listening to your children is more important than talking. You will never know when you listen with your ears and listen to body language with your eyes, and listen to the overall package with your heart.

The last factor that I will touch on is when your ex is ready. Why does this matter? Because if your ex is not ready, he/she can make your life a living hell for you, the children, and the person you are dating. You need to make yourself happy first, but if you are always dealing with the intangibles of dealing with a meddling ex, then it is more difficult to be happy.

Ultimately, you need to listen to your heart. This is the place where all of the answers come together. Your heart will tell you when the time is right, the place is right, and the person is right. If you are completely listening, your heart will tell you when your children are ready. It is the one thing that can answer all the questions for you

Source: Jon Chappuis (Helium)