Things to consider before dating as a single parent

For a single parent, the dating world can be treacherous. Trying to find a mate is difficult for yourself. That difficulty is multiplied when searching for a mate, and a positive, role model for your child. There are amoral people willing to take advantage of your vulnerability. People are there to take advantage of your stigma.

Single parents have a stigma. They have children. Their mates aren't with them. When dating someone, there are issues with finding "mates" or "step parents". Consider these factors and the others below when dating.

Is it smart to do background checks on dates? Nowadays, you should do checks on anyone you have personal and professional involvement with. There are pedophiles, murderers, con artists and other unsavory folks around. Criminals use whatever means to manipulate innocent people. Most single parents are innocent, needy, lonely and easy to manipulate. Be proactive and do criminal background checks. That's doing right by your children.

Would someone with children be a good choice? There's an old saying. "Misery loves company." Children aren't miserable. They're a joy. Single parents tend to circulate with other single parents. Whether you're a single mom or a single dad, choose mates that work hard for their families. That way, two families can mesh into one.

Would someone childless be a good choice? People without children are capable of being good, role models for yours. Tell them right away you have kids. From the beginning, they know what your situation is. By their answer, you can decide if they want a serious relationship, a casual fling or just a "good time". Obviously, a good time and a casual fling shouldn't be brought around your children. Nothing confuses a child more than seeing different adults in your company. Be mindful of that if you bring dates home.

How soon would you bring a friend around your kids? When dating someone, the idea is to ease a potential mate into your family. If your children are of age to understand, you should talk to them about your relationship. That discussion should take place before inviting the person around them. There is no timetable for the meet and greet to occur. Usually, a few months is the norm to introduce your mate.

Would you still date someone your kids don't like? You're an adult. You're going to do what you want. If your mate disrespects them or you, break up with them. If your mate treats them and you with respect, take things slower. Over time, your children should come around.

For all single parents out there, you can find someone too. Be honest. Regardless of who you choose, put your children first!


Source : Marcus Brooks ( Helium )